I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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