in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
