I don't think brook has ever known best
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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