We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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