ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
