i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
