so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
