Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
