Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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