matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
