Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
