Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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