eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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