i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
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