maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
A+ Viking dick
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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