i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I can't trust your balls anymore.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
