This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize