What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
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