I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
