i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
