you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
