never play flip cup with pint glasses
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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