this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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