Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
