hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
