My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
