i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
