Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
