real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
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