Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
