Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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