Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
