Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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