just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
