At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
