More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
