Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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