dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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