I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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