So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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