marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I think my fart just growled at me.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
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