So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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