drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
