...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
