im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
This is my gift to your gina
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
