i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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