you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
