My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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