I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
i need some magic done to my vagina
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
