and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Randomize
