Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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