College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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